


Broken

by Surfingpichu



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 13:25:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4962280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Surfingpichu/pseuds/Surfingpichu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would a gem like her ever want with a worthless, defective Pearl like me?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> A/N Hey all! Just posting this before I wake up tomorrow and realize it wasn't a good idea. Just some cute speculative fluff. The idea here is inspired by a Final Fantasy IX fanfiction of the same name by an author named Rifa.
> 
> Who knows if I'll continue this. Probably not. But who knows?

_**Broken** _

 

My breath feels like fire in my chest. I can't be sure how long I've been running. Hours? Days? Time it seems really does mean nothing when you've just been made yesterday, and even with all the knowledge and information I already have running through my newly formed mind, those words, minutes, hours, mean nothing. Every second is an eternity it seems as I hear footsteps pass the ventilation chamber that I'd managed to cram myself into. There is a feeling settling over the pit of my stomach like acid and fire, burning away at what should be my insides. I know my body is just a projection, but then, why does everything hurt so much? I am confused, but in the back of my mind, I know its not worth worrying over. What is is what might await me if I allow myself to be found. Much more than the aching of my body are the words I hear repeated over and over in the back of my mind.

 

“ _I'm pretty sure it's broken.”_ The words that bright green gem had spoken to me were burned into my memory, playing endlessly on repeat, _“I've never seen a Pearl act like this before. What are we gonna do with it?”_

 

I wasn't even sure what I'd done wrong. There were so many others of us, standing stark and still, crammed up against one another, not a single one blinking or moving or speaking. Hollow, vacant stares from behind porcelain faces greeted me when I turned my head left or right. All I'd wanted was a response, an acknowledgment, _something._ Didn't any of them care that day in and day out we were encapsulated within that chamber without even the respite of being able to walk outside. Every day other gems walked by us, they spoke like we weren't there. I knew the others could hear them, I certainly could. Surely I couldn't have been the only one. To stand there immobile, unable to respond, to speak, to be heard was torture, maddening. How could I help but to speak out? How could I do anything else?

 

“ _Just get rid of it. It obviously can't follow orders.”_ the other gem had shrugged. I never got a chance to see their face, but the words bit me all the same, _“Smash it, incinerate it, doesn't really matter what you do with it, just get rid of it. It's worthless now.”_

 

_Worthless..._

 

I bite back hot tears as I bring my knees to my chest. Surely they were looking for me now. I had defied a direct order, not even a few days after my creation no less. I knew nothing about my surroundings, nothing about where I was, or how to escape. I craved escape. But from where? _To_ where? Nothing seemed solid yet, I had only a vague sense of what I could possibly have to escape to. A vague sense of being _out there_. Not here. Anywhere but here.

 

The footsteps had been gone for quite a while now. I moved my head up, listening closely. Could they have given up? Perhaps they left to search somewhere else. Perhaps it would be my chance to escape, my chance to get to wherever _out_ was. I stood, and I realized my legs were trembling, knocking together with fear. My entire body shook. I couldn't help but wonder if I was supposed to be able to feel fear like this. Perhaps I really was broken.

 

I looked up and down the corridor. A cool, green light filters through fluorescent panels that line the hallway. It casts an ethereal glow over the entire structure. Somehow its unnerving, nothing seems natural. It reminds me that perhaps even I am not natural. I wasn't grown like the others, just manufactured. Meant as nothing but a servant, and a broken one at that. That made me less than a servant, so what did that leave me with? Nothing.

 

I took a few steps into the light, confident that my pursuers had left, at least for the moment. I couldn't stay hidden away forever. Even if I did survive, being stuck away in a dark corner was hardly worth living for. There had to be more to it than that. More than just surviving. I wanted to do more than that. I wanted to live.

 

I could feel the nerves slowly unknotting themselves from inside me as I continued down the hallway. It seemed to stretch for miles, far enough that I could barely see the end. There was little variation save for a single window that gazed out into the black abyss outside. For a moment I couldn't help but stop to look.

 

What I saw made my heart stir. What I saw stretched out before me was a vast expanse of black, dotted with an endless array of dazzling lights. Painted across the sky were what had to be thousands of stars, arranged across an even larger expanse of space. I suddenly felt very small, as if my breath was taken away. It was beautiful, and at once, puzzling and terrifying and wonderful. In the few days of my existence I had seen nothing but darkened rooms and narrow corridors, but to see now such a wide expanse of possibilities opened up, separated from me by only a thin sheet of glass, it stirred a desire I was nearly unable to hold back. I wanted to be out there. I _needed_ to be out there, and even if I died trying, if it was for _that_ it would be worth it.

 

The joy of the moment died in an instant with the sound of footsteps.

 

“There she is! Get her!”

 

A cold feeling settled over my limbs as I wrenched myself away from the window. Stupid! How could I have allowed myself to become so distracted? Perhaps I really was broken. Without a second thought I tore down the hallway, gritting my teeth as I ran. My legs were nimble enough to carry me, but my pursuers moved much faster yet. I could hear their footsteps gaining on me. Even though my life to this point had been short, I knew well enough what awaited me if they caught me. I couldn't face that. I wouldn't. It was too cruel now, to think of seeing all that could possibly await me outside the walls of this ship, only to be killed before seeing even a part of it. I couldn't stand the thought. Even if that vast blackness destroyed me, it would be worth it. I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes among the stars.

 

At last, when my legs felt as if they could carry me no more, my path ended. A waist high rail separated me from what seemed like an endless drop into blackness. Just staring down it made my head spin. It was hard to look.

 

“Looks like it's the end of the line.” A smirk settled upon the face of the light green gem that stood before me, “Come on, lets make this easy. You weren't going to be any use to anyone like this anyway. We'll rebuild you. You'll live a nice, long life doing exactly what you were meant for, without any of these bugs. You don't really want to keep being broken, do you?”

 

Any words I should have had stuck in my throat. Perhaps she was right. I wasn't of use to anyone like this. I was broken, worth less than the sum of my parts. At least if I was broken down, perhaps I could be of use to someone.

 

Slowly I turned around, letting go of the rail. I never lifted my head, never looked once into the eyes of my pursuers. I couldn't stand the thought of confronting them after I'd caused so much trouble. All that trouble for just a broken pearl.

 

“There's a good Pearl.” a smirk accompanied the words, with just a hint of smugness, “Don't worry, you won't feel a thing. It'll be all over in a second.”

 

To this day, I'm not sure why I turned around again. Perhaps I really had felt some second thoughts about being destroyed or perhaps it was just a morbid curiosity. For whatever reason it was, when I looked down into the long abyss below, a sudden yearning gripped me. I leaned over, staring into the dark, drinking in the possibilities of what my eyes could not yet see, and then, I heard a loud groan.

 

“Hey! What do you think you're doing?” A voice cried from behind me, but the shout came far too late. The rail I'd been leaning on gave way, and I plunged headlong into the blackness.

 

For a moment it felt like I was flying. The air sailed past me, light and cool upon my face. I should have been terrified, I knew that I should have feared for my life, but in that moment, I was at peace. If I shattered, at least I would feel the final embrace of that empty blackness I had fallen in love with. For the first time in my short life, I felt at peace.

 

_Thud!_

 

I bounced once when I hit the ground, and then rolled to a stop. Pain coursed through my limb, and my entire form ached, but somehow I'd managed to maintain my physical form, even upon impact. I reached up to touch my gem. Smooth, undamaged, I breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps I could go on living for a few moments more, though likely I wouldn't be able to continue to evade capture for much longer. I'd already run out of places to run to.

 

The sound of footsteps chilled my limbs again. Already I'd been found. There really was no escape. Exhausted, I staggered to my feet, prepared to run again, though I didn't know where, but this time, there came a voice that made me halt.

 

“Wait!”

 

I couldn't place it at the time, but there was something about that voice that made me stop in my tracks. It wasn't cold and calculating like the others. There was a warmth to this one, pleading, care, love. I turned, and for the second time that day, I felt my breath taken away.

 

Before me stood a gem like no other I'd ever seen before. A halo of bright pink curls wreathed her soft, gentle face. She stood taller than any other gem I'd ever seen, a flowing dress of all white enshrining her full, graceful figure. I could barely tear my eyes away, nor did I feel I ever wanted to. Her feet barely seemed to touch the ground as she approached me.

 

“I saw you fall from the deck.” The gem spoke. Her voice was soft, gentle, “Are you hurt?”

 

I didn't know how to respond. It wasn't fear that entrapped my voice now, but rather, wonderment. I managed to shake my head, but nothing more.

 

“Ahah! There she is!” The sound of another voice made me cringe. A pair of green gems, not unlike the ones who had pursued me through the hall now approached behind the pink haired gem that had so entranced me. I felt my heart sink.

 

“Is there a problem?” The moment the large gem spoke the two smaller ones grew silent. A subtle change in tone had turned her once soothing voice into something harsh, something terrifying.

 

“Rose Quartz! I-it's nothing! Not a problem!” The green gems looked suddenly very, very small, “This Pearl is defective. It managed to escape its containment chamber and has been running loose on the ship. We were just trying to retrieve it.”

 

“Is that so?”

 

Those words felt like a knife, twisting in my chest. She knew. How could I have been so blind, to stand in the presence of a gem so great, so powerful, so perfect? She was disgusted, she had to be. A useless, broken gem like me had no place in front of someone like her.

 

“Well, if no one else is using her, then I'll take her.” the great pink gem turned her head back to me and smiled, and for a moment more I felt like I could fly.

 

“What?!” the two green gems exchanged glances, a mix of shock and disbelief written over their sharp faces, “You can't be serious! She's broken, there's no use for her.”

 

“She looks fine to me.” Rose Quartz smiled back at me once more, “You were just going to get rid of her anyway, right? What difference does it make if I take her?”

 

A stunned silence settled over the two gems. Disbelief blistered into anger, and then settled into defeat.

 

“If you're sure.” the green gems shrugged, turning away, “Shall we send word to the Homeworld that...”

 

“ _That_ won't be necessary.” Rose Quartz cut the gem off sharply, a sudden bite in her voice, “Just update your inventory and that will be all.”

 

“Y-yes ma'am!”

 

In a moment they were gone, and the tension that had settled over me bit by bit began to vanish. I stared up at my new master, my savior, in awe, uncertain of what to say. I opened my mouth to speak, but when Rose Quartz turned and smiled at me again, the words vanished.

 

“That was close, wasn't it?” Rose Quartz said, her voice suddenly soft again, “Those Peridots really had it out for you. They can be such a chore to deal with.”

 

I nodded. Suddenly I felt very small again. I could barely stand to look at my savior any longer. I knew I didn't deserve it.

 

“Is something wrong?” her voice was so sweet, so gentle.

 

“Why?” at last I mustered the strength to speak. I turned meeting her eyes, trying to search for a reason. How could I, something so broken, so useless, be worth something in the eyes of someone so great, so beautiful, so... everything? Was it done in farce, was it out of some strange morbid interest in something so damaged and worthless? I found nothing, I couldn't understand, and yet still she smiled.

 

“Why what?”

 

“Why did you save me?” I asked. I heard the quiver in my voice. So weak, “You heard what they said. I'm broken, not worth anything. I'm not going to be of any use to you.”

 

For a moment her smile faded. I tensed as she shifted her body towards me. A hand rested in mine.

 

“Do you really think that?” her eyes met mine, “That you're useless?”

 

“I...” My tongue felt numb. I looked away. At once my face felt hot. I didn't know what to say, “It's what I was told.”

 

“If you really thought you were useless, you wouldn't have run away. Or jumped off a balcony.” Rose Quartz giggled. Her laugh made my heart soar.

 

“Homeworld has a strange way of deciding who is useful and who isn't.” the mirth left Rose Quartz's voice in an instant, “There's more to our universe than a list of goals and objectives. I wish I could make them see that.

 

There was silence for a great while. I sat next to the great Rose Quartz in silent awe. Her hand was still in mine. For once, it made me feel warm.

 

“Pearl, how would you like to take a ride with me?” at last Rose Quartz stood, and I stood with her, realizing again at once just how dwarfed I was by her.

 

“A ride...” I echoed, “With what destination?”

 

“Don't you worry about that.” she laughed again. I loved that laugh.

 

“I'll go anywhere you wish, Rose Quartz.” I replied, this time, for the first time, with conviction, “Anything at all that you want.”

 

A laugh escaped her lips again, and she gripped my hand, “Oh Pearl, please.”

 

 

“ _Call me Rose.”_


End file.
